The publication of Before the Leaves Fall one year ago had an unexpected and unwanted outcome. It woke an army of book zombies. Waves of the poor creatures throw themselves at my inbox every single day. Many are killed instantly in the spam folder (R.I.P.) and the rest I blast away one by one from my primary mails.
They have wonky names and phony gmail addresses, they represent book clubs, book circles, reading groups, famous publishers, agents, festivals and reviewers. They are brimming with generosity and have high hopes for me. Some mention the F-word, film (rights). Not to boast, but the ‘real’ James Patterson and Robert Harris have also been in touch.
So, this message goes out to Marcus Mark, Sam Toyin, Mandem Zeus, Sierra Stovall, Victor Hugo (crying laughing emoji), Nelie Maude, Moses Deborah, and all their undead brethren:
I came across your email and something moved me. What stood out was how you had combined random phrases from existing online reviews and blurbs and put them together, kindly reminding me what my book is about. One line stayed with me, your use of the phrase ‘an unexpected bond forms’.
Your familiarity with my characters Ruedi and Margrit comes through convincingly in the use of their names (bravo!). I’d love to include you in my sent emails but, sadly, your message is not getting through. Here’s what I can do to fix that: the sun, the moon and the stars.
Please reply with the word interested and I will send you more detailed, zombie-changing advice and opportunities.
When I look back to the publication of Voting Day in 2022, none of this was happening. It’s a sign of the shAItty times we’re living in, and I’m sure all walks of life are affected. One cheating human can generate swarms of sneaky minions, to harass and trick people, using their own honest work against them. It’s tiring.
My novels, like many works of fiction, are striving towards greater understanding of the human condition. The stories explore why we do the things we do, what we can change and how we can help each other (arrrgh, I can already imagine the bots plundering this line). And it’s hard to put that kind of heart and meaning into your work, only to find that your most avid fans are phantoms. Anyway, happy book birthday to me on this leaf-strewn day in October! May Before the Leaves Fall reach many more real people in its lifetime.
